2017 – Be Here Now

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HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS! Welcome to 2017! I’m sure many of you are settling back into your work routines after a well-deserved Summer break! For me, although I am again unemployed, the hard work is only just beginning! Let me explain…

Towards the end of last year you would have noticed that my posts became less frequent, both on this blog and on my Instagram. The truth is, after jumping off my medication, my anxiety relapsed and I’ve been struggling to cope. My focus was to get through the last couple of months remaining at my job and utilise the summer break to work on myself, to try and better manage the anxiety. Of course, if it were that easy, a magical cure would exist out there for everyone struggling to cope and we could all be on the mend after a few short weeks.

REALITY: NO MAGIC CURE FOUND!
– So I guess the hard work is just starting for me.

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To make things worse, the lead up to Christmas was nothing short of a nightmare. My mum had to have surgery after discovering a lump on her thyroid. It was not cancerous and all would have been fine had she not contracted an infection which saw her readmitted into hospital. Meanwhile, our beloved cat, Puss, had been eating less and less over a two week period. He had become skin and bone, and initial trips to the vet concluded that it may have been cat flu. No less than a day after mum getting discharged, the vet called and broke the horrible news. Puss had lymphoma. We had to put him down as his condition was worsening.

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So as you can imagine, with only two days until Christmas – our family was in absolute turmoil. We were all emotional wrecks and the last thing on my mind was to take care of myself. I was just trying to get through each day. I think we all were.

So anyway, here we are – the 18th of January and only just beginning my journey towards better health. This is what I plan to do.

  • Meditate every single day – even if it’s only for five minutes before bed.
  • Get back into yoga – I started my first class in a few months yesterday and boy did it feel good!
  • Exercise – for ages I’ve been saying that I need to strengthen up – now that I’m not working gives me both the time and the energy.
  • I love this blog – it’s my form of therapy so while I have the time I’ll be utilising it as much as I can.
  • Anxiety online course: Aside from seeing my therapist, I have decided to take an online course aimed at helping you manage your anxiety.
  • Stick to the medication – back on the meds and not planning on jumping off any time soon. And I’m cool with that. I no longer want to feel embarrassed being on this medication. The stigma surrounding being on anti-depressants is slowly dying as more and more people require the assistance. If you can do it on your own – all power to you! We’re not all built the same.

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For now, these are my main goals that I have committed myself to. I don’t know if they will work, and past experience has shown me that ups and downs are completely normal and to be expected. I’m at the point where I may even consider hypnotherapy in the near future. I am totally committed to trying my best to combat this. If it works – GREAT! If not, I will not have any regrets or guilt, because at least I can say I tried.

I think that’s enough word vomit for today. There’s still a big aspect of my life that I need to update you all on, given this blog was spawned out of heartbreak, love and loss. Amidst all of the struggles, ‘It’s all in a hug’ guy, also known as Nick – has stood by me through thick and thin. Many of my posts surrounded the ability to love again, and I’m happy to say that this is a reality that has come true for me. Nick and I are all coupled up and even went on a little trip to Byron Bay together which I will elaborate on in a future post. Never have I dated someone who knows the extent of my anxiety as he does. Where most would run away out of fear or difficulty, he continues to help me grow and overcome it. In his own words, ‘we’re in this together.’

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There’s a little insight into us – more on that, next time! Stay tuned kids 😉

Love & Light,

X Cat.

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2017 – Be Here Now

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