What’s in a soul mate?


It’s natural after a break up to question whether soul mates really do exist. The inner cynic rears its ugly head and we tend to question our core beliefs and values. Maybe there isn’t someone for everyone? Maybe some of us are destined to be alone in this life? I know personally, that the fear of being alone – especially post break up – is a daunting reality that many of us face at some point in our lives.

While going through this transition I came across a book titled ‘Soul Mates’ written by Jenny Smedley.


Smedley is an international columnist and psychic advisor and I was curious to read her advice on the topic. For the purposes of this post, I will discuss the various types of soul mates according to Smedley. There is quite a lot of information to absorb on this topic alone, and this highlights only a small aspect of the book. In future posts, I will draw on this text again so you can gain some more insight into the realm of soul mates.



YOU HAVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SOUL MATES! If you thought having only one was hard work – boy do I have news for you!

“I believe there are four main types of soul mate… each play a different role in your life, helping you to become a complete and balanced person with joy in your heart,” Smedley writes.

According to Smedley, these four categories of soul mates are as follows:

  1. The Eternal Flamesoulmate-and-life-partners~ This is how many people define their soul mate. The person who feels like the other half of you.
    ~ They know what you’re thinking and offer unconditional love.
    ~ No battlefields, only minor skirmishes in order for both souls to learn lessons.
    ~ There will be no unfaithfulness because their love is found from a deeper soul level.
    ~ Each one feels the joy and pain of the other.

“However, not everyone will find this kind of soul mate in every life they live because the strong dependency that can be formed isn’t always a good thing and might not be right at this particular stage of their existence. Because of this, we may live some lifetimes apart from our Eternal Flame, just to make sure that we can learn to rely on ourselves and not on someone else.”

So how do you know if they’re your Eternal Flame? Smedley believes the difference lies in how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable in any way by someone’s advances, there’s a danger of being swept off your feet into a relationship that can potentially drown you spiritually. You need to be comfortable with this soul mate and shouldn’t feel the need to have space in order to recover from their presence. Look out for a feeling of ‘coming home’ when meeting someone new rather than a lightning bolt of passionate attraction.



  1. Twin Flametwin-flame-lovers-fire-soul-mates~ A step down from the Eternal Flame – a twin soul is often the most confusing type of mate because despite love being apparent, the decision needs to be made about whether it will last and help you achieve what you need to in life.
    ~ The confusion stems from the two of you being alike in so many ways. You are literally a mirror image of each other and closely connected on a soul level.
    ~ This has the effect of feeling like the two halves complete one another OR it can have the opposite effect, in which similar personally traits can cause arguments, or both may want to be the dominant or submissive one, ultimately not giving the other what they need.

“They’ll make you feel comfortable because in a past life they were probably your friend or partner, and it’s tempting to think you can just take up where you left off… But this is where the trouble can come, because often you’re together just to help each other out, and you’re not meant to be lifelong partners.”



  1. Teacher Soul MateFullSizeRender(3)~ They will come into your life, usually temporarily to enable you to learn something vital to your souls progress.
    ~ They won’t normally be a partner although this can sometimes happen and the relationship can be challenging and difficult. The lesson can be harsh as a result.
    ~ Once the lesson has been given, the teacher will vanish as mysteriously as they appeared and this can upset and confuse you.

“There is a saying, ‘When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.’”


  1. Comforter Soul MateFullSizeRender(1)~ They can step into your life just to say a specific thing, to bring comfort and companionship when you’re feeling alone or when you’re in need of advice to help you make a difficult decision.
    ~ They think the same way as you do and are always there for you, but you never see them as potential partners.
    ~ Often the opposite sex, yet there is no sexual chemistry between the two of you. The definition of a true platonic relationship.
    ~ Does not even need to be human – can even be a pet or animal.


“If you believe, as I do, that animals have souls, then they have also had past lives. If you can accept that they’ve had past lives, then you have to accept that they’ve known people during those lives and that some of them come back to bring comfort to people who would otherwise be alone.”

Throughout the text, Smedley draws upon real life accounts of individual’s soul mate stories. It is definitely worth a read, and will clarify any questions you may have about differentiating between soul mates.


I hope you find this information just as useful as I did when first reading it. Most of us are unaware that we do not only have one soul mate in our lives. Rest assured, should you not find your eternal flame in this life time, another type of soul mate will be pulled to you either for companionship, to teach or to comfort.

Please like and share this post or comment below with your thoughts on this topic, or share your own experiences about any soul mates you may have come across.

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What’s in a soul mate?

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