A day I once looked forward to every year, has now become a date I’d rather forget. Do you think it would be possible to sleep through the next day and wake up on the 9th? I suppose that’s wishful thinking.
For the last couple of weeks I have been grappling with many emotions, relating both to my previous long term relationship, and to the most recent (unofficial) relationship that spanned over the last few months.
But for the purposes of this post, I will focus on the long term relationship that inspired this blog.
February used to be a month of some serious celebrations, with our anniversary, his birthday and Valentine’s Day all in the same week! Naturally, I am nervous to face the next week ahead, but particularly tomorrow, all on my own.
I attempted to come up with ideas to keep myself distracted tomorrow. The truth is, I’m scared. I’m really scared to face our first anniversary as exes and not celebrate what would have been four years together. As I sit in bed writing this I can feel myself getting teary. I suspect the first is always the hardest and I’m trying to keep that at the back of my mind.
The fact that I’m currently out of work also doesn’t help the situation. It’s safe to say I’m not too sure how I will cope tomorrow. But it’s okay, we’re allowed to have our down days from time to time – as long as we pick ourselves up and move forward.
Healing is an ongoing journey.